Communication… the most essential concept of success in any endeavor yet the most failed at; it is the process of information flow and idea exchange through a series of verbal and non-verbal actions.
Conflicts generally tend to be simple cases of miscommunication and have the potential to be clarified with improved communication tactics. Unfortunately, when our emotions become involved, the majority of us tend to react with illogical responses.
The most important component of a relationship is open communication. GIRLS & BOYS, YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS NOT A MIND READER, NOR ARE THEY PSYCHIC! You MUST communicate your thoughts and emotions in order for the other person to understand… you cannot expect someone to know what is irritating or hurting you by giving them the silent treatment!! We are blessed with the ability to communicate through numerous outlets yet we do not utilize them. Effective communication transpires only if, and when, the intended message from the sender is fully comprehended by the receiver.
Simply “talking” with your partner is NOT communicating if a resolution is not achieved. Listening and comprehending are as important as speaking… sometimes however, we can achieve more simply by just listening. After all, we were each designed with two ears and one mouth.
Take the time to pause for a moment, calm your thoughts, and respond with logic rather than emotion. I am just as guilty of this weakness as anybody; it is much easier said than done because in the moment, our only desire is to make our point. This however, might cause our point to disappear all together as other issues arise and we fail to candidly communicate our thoughts and emotions clearly. Clarity can be extremely powerful but we tend to take it for granted; assuming our counterpart is intelligent enough to grasp the message we are attempting to convey when in actuality, the destructive action is our assumption that we expressed the message correctly in the first place thus causing deterioration in the communication process and attacking a phantom cause.
Try LISTENING as opposed to planning what you are going to respond with next. When all we can do is wait for our turn to speak, there can be no compromise or understanding. BE HONEST!! Hiding emotions or pretending things are well and good does NOT work! There can be no solution if the root of the issue(s) is not presented the opportunity to be discovered. PAY ATTENTION to the other person when communication seems to be failing… HOW are they saying what they are saying? How are you saying what you are saying? How we say something could have a deeper impact than what we are saying actually could. Remember that actions speak louder than words and what we do, will be reflected upon.
The number one thing to avoid in a relationship, (in my opinion it is the root of almost all separations) is allowing outside influences to affect YOUR relationship. Too often, after a couple argues, they seek comfort by venting to their friends or someone outside of their relationship. At these times, the relationship is extremely vulnerable. Instead of communicating your frustrations to others, those frustrations need to be re-examined and discussed with your partner because for all we know, we misunderstood what they were trying to say or vice-versa.
NEVER accept hearsay as valid!! You MUST ensure that your partner is the actual source of information and not something that was heard through the grapevine. You never know who has malicious intentions as rumors are instigated and portrayed as truths. Don’t be the weak link that believes the first negative thing you hear about the situation… there are those who thrive on the destruction of others’ happiness.
Communicate with your partner… listen to what they say, pay attention to what they do, understand what they need, declare what it is that you need, and most importantly, NEVER cut off communication to make a point. This tactic will only backfire and initiate the dissolution of your happiness.
Never sacrifice your happiness over trivial minutia… Learn to approach all things from a position of open understanding, honesty, compassion, and sensitivity. We can all learn new methods of tackling negative situations… Learning is the gateway to growing and adapting.
So I say to you: reflect, understand, learn, grow, and adapt in order to conquer future circumstances with gusto. Communication is like a map of side streets, main roads, and highways… each one will lead you somewhere… why not choose your destination and proactively advance in the direction of awesomeness and happiness? BE THE REASON YOU ARE HAPPY & leave all barriers to effective communication to those who desire unhappiness!
Which do you choose?
I choose HAPPINESS.